Going out on a limb

I lay down on my own table, when a visiting healer came to me. So good to be on my own table, exchanging with a fellow healer, resting back and handing myself over to spirit. So often with healing exchange, I am on other people’s tables, sitting in other people’s chairs, in other people’s houses. My table is an old friend I so rarely get to experience from this angle.

“May I use your crystal?”, he asked me. “Please do”, I replied. “I probably only use them once or twice a month and they love being used.” I don’t know which crystal he picked up and used. My eyes were closed. But I could feel the movement of the crystal and his hand, spiralling and swirling above, around and inside my third eye. My eye was calling him, he told me. It wanted to expand.

I felt my third eye open and expand. I felt broad in vision, light and airy in the space around and above my mind. There was so much room to move. I sighed and felt my body roll outwards a little in relaxation.

My third eye snaked forward. My body was on the table but my eye was travelling, stretching, extended like an elastic cord of light, into the future. My body was behind me, connected to me by a snake-like, wavering beam of light. I was the eye on the end of the beam, looking out over the edge of a precipice into an abyss. Empty, infinite space threatened to swallow me as I swayed precariously on its rim.

“I feel like I’m out on a limb”, I said to spirit. Why was I here, I wondered?

“What have you learned about going out on a limb?” spirit asked me.

Memories flashed through my mind of countless training exercises undertaken with spirit in the privacy of my inner world. I saw myself standing on the edges of cliffs and ledges, falling and not falling, over and over again.

“I learned that I am safe. You are with me. And to stay grounded. It’s safe to go out on a limb because you are with me, so long as I stay grounded.”

I remember the time Tomas made me stand on a high ledge and then pushed me off. I was a little hurt and annoyed with him at first. I didn’t entirely understand the lesson at the time, but I knew it was a lesson, because he kept doing it. He was teaching my energy body something about the art of letting go and falling without losing your grounding. I couldn’t understand the lesson with my mind, but I could feel things changing in my body. Falling without falling became easier, more elegant. There was power in it. Now here I was again, on the edge of another cliff face, suspended over the edge of the universal void.

“You are safe, so bring your body here with you.”

I reached back through my cord of light and pulled, drawing my body to me. I was standing looking down over a swirling mass of colour. It pulled on my vision, drawing me in. I found that visual sweet spot of falling without falling, allowing myself to sink slightly into the details and movement without losing sight of the overall shape. It was an eye. A red, swirling beautiful eye, like a ruby jewel that had come to life.

Jupiter’s eye. I was standing peering down into Jupiter’s giant swirling eye. If I was looking at Jupiter’s eye from a distance, then I wasn’t standing on Jupiter. So where was I? The reply came in the form of two alphabetical letters, the letter I and the letter O. When I told me healer about this he said “Yes, Jupiter has many moons. One of them is called Io.”

So I was standing on Io, looking back at Jupiter. I could feel the sun at my back warming me. Later, I found out that Io is the most volcanic object in our solar system, and similar in size to our own moon. In mythology, Io was a river nymph and priestess of Juno. Juno’s husband Jupiter fell in love with Io. In some stories she seems a willing partner, in others it seems like she doesn’t have much choice. Juno is jealous and suspicious. To protect and hide Io from Juno, Jupiter turns Io in a white cow. Would you like to know more? I have read lots of stories about Io. Here is a link to my favourite version so far: Io the moon goddess

So perhaps in this vision, I was like Io, gazing back at Jupiter, my secret beloved, whom I could not be with. When I was experiencing this vision, I knew none of these stories: all I knew was that the eye seemed magnetic to me, but instead of pulling me in, it came to me and devoured me with a kiss. The kiss seemed like a blessing for my third eye.

Now my attention was drawn to the left. I looked and saw Saturn. Such a beautiful planet. I remember looking at Saturn’s rings through telescopes as a child, and being able to find its position in the sky with my naked eye. If my eyes had been physical in this vision I was having, I would have rubbed them because I was seeing double: two Saturns, not one. They seemed to blur together and then apart, repeatedly.

This visual disturbance didn’t seem right. I felt like I just wanted one Saturn but no matter what I tried there were two. Hovering between the two Saturns was a chain saw. What do I do with this I thought? I tried interacting with the scene in various ways but nothing changed.

I could also see a road leading from Saturn to Jupiter. It was unfinished. A large road-making machine lay abandoned on the road. I could see a hole in the road. A strange looking man emerged from the hole. He looked like an alien, with fish-like features.

“Who are you?” I asked him.

“I am your higher wisdom”, he replied.

“You look like an alien”, I said. He shrugged in response.

“What can I say. I look like an alien. I’m your higher wisdom. Don’t judge a book by it’s cover”

Fair enough I thought, and explained my problem with the double Saturn image.

“What are chain saws for?”, he asked me.

“For cutting things down”, I replied.

“Exactly. Stop cutting yourself down.”

With this message the two Saturns resolved into one, the road completed itself and suddenly I was laying face down on the bottom of the ocean, as though hugging the sea floor. It felt good. I sat up. I was holding a staff or a trident in my right hand. It made me feel like I was owning my own power or authority. Perhaps the alien man was Neptune, I thought. Neptune, King of the sea.

Then the healing was finished and I came to with a trident in my hand.

Blessed Be

POST NOTES:

Here is some info about:

The relationship between Jupiter and Saturn (they had a road linking them together and this healing was, in part, about completing the road)

Neptune

Reflecting on my chart. 

Last night I was searching for a lost book when a folder fell out of the bookcase. I was amazed to discover it was an old astrology chart a friend had drawn up for me many years ago. How strange yet perfect, that I would find this chart twelve hours after receiving a healing that was so full astrological references.

I don’t know much about astrology, but I had to laugh when I saw that I have Saturn in Gemini in my second house. No wonder I was seeing double!

3 thoughts on “Going out on a limb

  1. I love your blogs Om, the chainsaw could be representing trimming up areas of your life so that it’s more simplified. I have have said out loud so many times this month that there must be something going on out there the shifts have been I credible representing prioritising and getting back to basics and what’s really important, letting go of what we truly don’t need in order to lead a simple life, thanks for sharing xo

    • Thanks Kathleen, what you have said resonates. This whole year I have had a craving to simplify my life and to cut the excess away rather than adding more or expanding. I feel like I’m in a Clarity Yellow phase. I think Saturn in astrology has something to do with cutting things away. Xxx

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