Not wanting to be here

(Here is another snippet from the same half-written book, further exploring the concept of ‘cosmics’; spiritual people with expanded crown chakras and minimal grounding. The ‘not wanting to be here’ state is further characterised by a disconnect between the belly chakra and the base chakra)

Not wanting to be here

Within every Cosmic is one unifying trait. None of them really want to be here. The grass is most definitely a lot greener somewhere else. For many, this will express itself as a dislike for being a human and having a physical body. One of my Cosmic friends laments having to be in ‘3D’ as she calls it. Another believes he was stranded here on earth many lifetimes ago after his spaceship crash landed and he longs to return home to his people. Another has ascended while in physical form, giving himself a new name and spending most of his time communing with higher beings. He is no longer human.

This discomfort with the idea of being of being human is part of the reason why Cosmics are so drawn to spiritual ideas. Most of them are sensitive people who find this human existence rather wretched and distressing. I can absolutely relate to how they feel because for the first twenty five years of my life, I felt embarrassed to be associated with humanity, because of the way we treat each other and the rest of life on this planet. Then my very wise little sister made a comment “you are always empathising with the worlds pain, what if you tried empathising with the worlds joy”.

That was an ‘aha’ moment for me. I’ve now become so good at seeing the beauty, love and joy in humanity that the darker stuff really doesn’t bother me so much. Nothing about the world around me has changed, except my view of it, but this magical shift in perspective has made me a much happier person who lives a more effective life. I’ve rewired my brain to hook its attention onto ‘Chicken Soup for the Soul’ type stories, stories that feel me with awe for the human condition and make me feel proud to be human. This helps me accept my humanity and make the most of this experience. Instead of being a burden, being human and being here has become an honour. It’s also a lot of fun.

Cosmics tend to disassociate themselves with humanity and claim kinship with other life-forms like extra-terrestrials, angels, spirits, fairies, or in my own case, trees. They often hanker for a more disembodied existence. Will this be my last life here, they ask hopefully. Many of them consider humanity to be at the bottom of the dog-pile, way beneath other beings and levels of existence, rather than seeing themselves, or humanity, as equals. Personally, I think they are going to the other extreme in a reaction against mainstream thinkers who deny other levels of existence and see humanity as being above all other life-forms.

For a Cosmic, the tendency towards escapism often manifests itself as a dissatisfaction with their life as it is. Quite a few of my Cosmic friends want to live somewhere else in the world. They have the idea that this ideal destination will yield to them everything that is missing from their current lives. Others yearn for the perfect relationship. They think this divine soul mate relationship will help them find themselves and somehow make everything else in their life perfect too. Some of them want to be discovered so they can work full time as spiritual healers or teachers.

None of these dreams are unrealistic in and of themselves. It’s just that Cosmic’s have this tendency to dream without taking the practical steps needed to bringing these dreams to fruition or they invest a lot or resources into dreams that are unlikely to succeed. An example is getting further and further into debt due to poor financial decisions, while you dream of moving interstate and setting up a spiritual retreat. It won’t matter of course, because you just know you will win the lotto or someone will walk into your life one day and hand you the money because your vision is so inspiring.

All possible of course, but personally, I’d be more inclined to reduce my debts, improve my financial management skills and find a less expensive way to realise the core essence of my dream. Good reality creating requires grounded thinking and action; a willingness to be practical. Cosmics really struggle with the new age concepts of reality creating and manifestation. They love the idea but they aren’t so good with the practical side of taking personal responsibility for bringing their own dream to life. They visualise and say affirmations, but they forget to do the legwork, partly because they desperately want to believe in things like magic and divine intervention.

I’m not saying that these things aren’t real, but we have human bodies and we are living in a physical reality so a lot of the time, it can be easier to just get up and do it yourself the old-fashioned way, rather than waiting for things to materialise out of thin air. If I have a choice between trying to use my mind to turn on a light switch or walking a few metres to do it with my hand, I’ll go for the latter; saves energy, definitely gets the job done and I exercise my body at the same time. Wonderful!

Strangely, many Cosmics get themselves in a double bind by being dissatisfied while pretending that everything is fine because they think that unhappiness and negative emotions are ‘not spiritual’. This is another very common feature amongst my Cosmic friends and clients- they are all loathe to admit that they feel anything less than perfect spiritual maturity and equanimity, even while lamenting the fact that life is not co-operating with their desires. “Life still hasn’t delivered me what it promised. I can’t work out why it’s being so uncooperative. But its okay, I’m perfectly balanced and happy because I’m spiritually evolved”. Meanwhile, quite a few of them are seriously considering suicide as a back up option if life doesn’t deliver.

I have mixed feelings about the fact that suicide is such a viable option for my Cosmic friends. I understand that for them, the spiritual after-life is very real and enticing. They always see it as a ‘going home’ option, rather than a ‘bailing out on life’ option. I’m spiritual enough myself to see where they are coming from with this perspective, and to honour their right to choose, but they always make it sound so sweet and simple, like they are saying “Oh well, if the package doesn’t show up, I’ll just catch the next bus and go home. No big deal”. Personally, I think someone has to be in fair bit of pain to want to kill themselves.

On the other hand, I can also see that their spiritual beliefs, even if they are a bit ‘cosmic’ at times, are one of the major lifelines keeping them alive. Cosmics find this existence painful, and the spiritual beliefs they have developed are mostly designed to cushion the blow. So while I get exasperated with my Cosmic clients and friends because they never want to talk about negative emotions or face up to the fact that they are avoiding reality, I also understand that they are simply trying to survive, the best way they know how.

I would be wasting a wonderful opportunity for personal growth if I didn’t take a moment to further acknowledge my own Inner Cosmic at this point. Maybe you can take a moment to do the same thing. I have tended to be an impatient person in my life. When I’m chafing at the bit to arrive at a future moment, I’m definitely caught up in a fantasy about being somewhere else (the future), rather than being than here (now). What about you? How does your Inner Cosmic feature in your life?

My Inner Cosmic’s fixation with the future enables me to dream up wonderful possibilities. It helps me have hope and to feel positive about the future. The only time it really becomes unhealthy is when I begin to stress about things not happening quickly enough or not working out the way I had imagined. To manage my Inner Cosmic during these times, I have to get very clear with myself about what I do and do not have control over, along with what is and is not practical and balanced. I have to assess whether my future vision is realistic and whether there are any practical steps I can take towards it, without the rest of my life becoming unbalanced.

We need to use spiritual concepts safely and effectively without becoming unhinged. People with diagnosed mental illness who have trouble keeping a grip on reality should handle spiritual ideas with care, if at all, because they could make their condition worse rather than better. These people need to focus on staying grounding. For the rest of us, spiritual ideas can enrich our lives and make them infinitely more effective, beautiful and healthy.