Relationships and happiness

I just got through two paragraphs, reading a blog about relationships, and suddenly realised my husband and I have been together for almost 27 years. “Why are we so happy with each other, so happy together?” my husband asked me earlier today. I shrugged. “We’ve worked on it. Most people don’t.” I sincerely believe relationships are an art that needs to be practised, a skill-set that can be developed, like anything else in the world.

That might not sound incredibly romantic, but if grounded pragmatism bores you I can broaden the scope and tell you that I also believe my husband and I dreamed each other into being, beginning in childhood. We already ‘knew’ each other before we met. We were brought together by a star that has kept us orientated on one another, so we don’t lose out bearings. But that stuff is our private magic, the sacred stories we share in the right moment at the right time, around a campfire with friends.

Let me tell you instead about the practical magic I feel can be applied to any relationship to help it bloom and flourish, and seeing as most of what I’ve learned I’ve learned from my husband, I’d better check in with him and convey to you what he thinks are the secrets behind a good relationship. But he’s watching the football now, so I’ll let him soak up that joy while I immerse myself in the bliss of the written word and I’ll ask him when he comes to tell me about the game.

My husband and I have learned that you have to meet each other half way. You aren’t in a relationship if you aren’t willing to do this, you are just pretending. Relationships are about compromise and negotiation, about being prepared to give a bit because you love the other person and what you have together. Half way. That means don’t be a stubborn pain the neck, and or let the other person act like a spoiled brat. Love doesn’t do that. Love cares about itself AND the other person.

Find a middle ground, or take turns. It really is that simple. You aren’t right all the time. Neither are you wrong all the time. You can’t have what you want all the time, but neither should you constantly sacrifice your needs like some heroic martyr. The beautiful thing is, that when two people love each other, beyond speaking up to express your needs and feelings (with kindness and respect), you don’t usually have to argue your position much or fight for what you need, because the one who loves you will hear you and meet you half way, at the very least, just as you will do for them.

Good relationships are about kindness. My husband and I don’t always agree, but we have learned to argue (debate) with kindness, and with respect for one another. We don’t tear each other to shreds, but we do express hurt, disappointment, frustration and so on. You can do all of that without fighting dirty. Don’t do or say what you will regret later. Don’t damage the relationship, because arguments are just arguments. They pass.

And it helps to have a wee bit of a sense of humour. It truly can be hilarious when you realise you’ve heard it all before (your own carry on) and your partner is finding clever, light-hearted ways to point this out to you.

My husband finished the game. I just asked him what the secrets to a good relationship are. “Having fun together. I could give you an entire list. Sharing experiences together. Having children together. Travel…. I think honestly is important. That means being able to be yourself and letting each other be who you are. You find you mould each other into perfection anyway, in the end.”

Anyway, that’s his wisdom for now, and mine, because now we’ve got some great conversations to have together.

 

Blessings!

 

 

 

 

The Cave

 

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAThis is one of the healing sketches I use in my clinic. Like all the sketches, it has a range of uses, which I am slowly learning over time. I channeled 20 healing sketches through over the space of a week, and now Spirit is showing me how to use them.

Colours, shapes and patterns on their own can have power, because they influence the mindbody via our vision, but sketches can be imbued with intent and vibrational energy. We might not be able to visually see this vibrational energy, but our body can feel it. Think of this vibrational energy as being like a three-dimensional, sacred geometrical or organic pattern. This pattern is absorbed into our aura and from here impacts the mindbody.

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Words of Love

What’s your language of love? Mine is words of praise and my husband knows it, and plays it to his advantage. Clever man. Here’s a husband quote:

“Every time I’m near you I get feelings of pure ecstasy that form naturally in my heart and then shoot through my bloodstream.”

Not only that, he nearly died from happiness after tasting my latest cake and said really nice things about that too.

And I just overheard him saying to his friend: “She’s famous around Australia for her lentil burgers.”

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The Dogs – part 2

Klonar placed his empty teacup on the side table and sat forward in his chair.

“Well, I guess I’ll be going then. Thank you for the tea.”

He began to get to his feet when King Willy uncoiled like a spring from his sleeping position and barked in Klonar’s face. Willy’s voice was deep like rolling thunder and the bark itself was short and clipped, laced with menace and authority. The soundwave hit Klonar like a physical force, pushing him back in his chair.

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The Dreamers – part 1

Maddy and Toby watched via the monitor as Greg led the two students through a meditation in the adjacent room. Maddy marvelled at the way Greg’s voice dropped in tone, volume and pace, enticing his charges into a deeper state. He really did have a gift for this kind of work. Turning her attention back to Toby, she was a little startled by the odd play of emotions fleeting across his face. “Toby. Are you getting distracted again?” He had a quick mind, certainly, but it did have a tendency to leap about rather than staying focused on the task at hand.

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Frangipani Flower essence

Frangipani flower essence is one of my favourites essences for dissolving tension in relationships. It tends to work best if I give it to both people in a relationship conflict. I’ve had really good results giving it to siblings who are at war with one another and also to parents and children who aren’t getting along with each other. It’s particularly appropriate when there are power struggles occurring between people. The particular frangipani I use to make my essence is ‘sunrise’ or ‘fruit salad’ frangipani. It contains visual frequencies of the following aura colours: Vulnerability Pink, Wholehearted Pink, Warmth Yellow and Compassion Orange. These are all heart chakra frequencies. If you are interested in flower essences, you might want to read my blog about a flower essence bush walk I did in April 2012

Om makes and sells her own flower essences and teaches the ‘no pick’ technique for making flower essences. 

The Soul Snatcher

She looked down at Tomas’s broken twisted body and something broke and twisted inside her. she screamed with grief and rage, falling to her knees and scooping his body up in her arms, making him wet with her tears, wishing they were magic life-giving tears, knowing they were not.

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