The wounded healer and his apprentice

Chiron, the wounded healer, and his apprentice Achilles, are coming up as strong archetypes for many healers and helpers at the moment. This is an opportunity to heal your deepest wounds and weaknesses as a healer/helper…

The wounded healer’s drive to heal often comes from their wounded self. This is the part of us that heals others in order to heal ourselves. We see ourselves in others and by rescuing/healing others, we hope to heal ourselves.

If you’ve ever had a moment when you’ve wondered why you are able to heal and help others, but not yourself, this is your chiron-wound. The chiron wound blesses us with a healer’s wisdom and insight that only empathy can give us, but it can also make us abandon ourselves in our God-like quest to be everyone else’s hero.

The chiron-achilles wound can be blind spot, a wound you can’t see or understand, even though it may be obvious to others, some of whom may exploit this wound. For many, this wound results in martyrdom and self-neglect. For others, it involves active self-harm. Some call this wound “the healer’s shadow.”

When you stop hating, neglecting, or ‘not-seeing/hearing’ some part of yourself that is crying out to be loved, you finally pass the healer/helper/hero’s ultimate test: rescuing yourself with self-love, self-care, self-healing, and the acceptance of love and support from others, with healthy boundaries and self-respect. In other words, you walk your talk.

If you are a wounded healer, will you still want to heal others after you’ve healed yourself? You might completely reinvent yourself and take on a new identity, purpose in life, or job description. But if you do continue as a healer/helper, you can be fairly guaranteed your approach will be very different because the drive to help and heal no longer comes from your wound, your inner pain, or your martyred, heroic sense of responsibility and invincibility.

Are you a wounded healer? What if the desire to help and heal came from a place of joy, light, fullness, completeness, stillness, self-love and peace within yourself? What might be possible for you then?

The Chakra Kits

I have a range of 20 Herbal Chakra Tonics that integrate with the Aura Sprays, and are complimented by guided meditations and mindfulness meditations. These kits amalgamate my experience as an Aura Therapist with over 20 years experience in the trade, with my expertise as a Naturopath. By the time I graduated as a Naturopath in 2003, I had already clocked up hundreds or aura healings, readings and sketches since I began doing this work in 1996.

WHAT IS THE AURA?

Seen with psychic vision, the aura is a cloud of rainbow-coloured light that surrounds you. You could think of the aura as being your spirit-self or your energy-body. Aura colours can be ‘read’ by a practitioner such as myself. Each colour tells me something about a clients personality, feelings, emotions, thoughts, beliefs, experiences and interactions with others. The colours themselves come from energy structures in the aura called chakras. I ‘see’ around 100 different aura colours, all of which have multiple different possible meanings depending on the exact shade, where in the aura they are found, and the other colours they are found with. Continue reading

My Life as a Dreamer

My husband tells me the way I dream is unusual, and I’m curious to know if that is true!

I’ve always been an adventurous dreamer. As a child, I’d dream of being in the school yard, off in some little corner by myself, practising my levitation skills. I’d slowly lean back, keeping my body straight and stiff, balancing my weight on my heels. Instead of falling backwards I’d suddenly find myself floating with my heels an inch off the ground! It required a lot of concentration, but with practise, it became easier.

As the years rolled by, I was able to float a little higher, and for longer, and by the time I reached my teens I could fly! Sometimes, my flying looks like Wonder Woman. When I fly like this, it feels almost as though I am a dolphin, streaming, winding, whipping and turning effortlessly, this way and that. Other times, it’s more a sense of being able to jump with weightlessness, launching in the air and leaping to great heights. Continue reading

Video Blog Experiment

Hello! I’m just experimenting with creating a video blog. My first one ever! This was a spontaneous experiment that branched off from the playing I’m doing with video-creation in general at the moment, for the on-line courses I’m creating. Next time I’ll make sure the lighting is better, but it’s a good start; toe in the water, so to speak!

This video is a dear-diary business-catch up. I’ll do another one soon, because there are a few events coming up that I forgot to tell you about!

Compassion Orange

IMG_6268This is an excerpt from my book Aura Colour Therapy, about an aura colour I call Compassion Orange. For anyone who has studied iridology, this auric pattern is equivalent to the Ring or Harmony or Lymphatic Rosary pattern in the iris.

This is a pale fluorescent apricot orange, like sunset reflected on soft fluffy clouds, or water. ‘Gentle’ is the word that most readily comes to mind when I think of this colour. Compassion Orange makes your heart feel expanded and all-encompassing. The feeling you get when your ‘heart goes out’ to another, is a typical Compassion Orange feeling. Sometimes this can be joyful because it keeps us connected with others, but quite often, it can cause an ache or pang in the heart.

Compassion Orange can reflect a compassionate nature or recent growth in a person’s capacity for compassion. Compassion Orange types are instinctive healers, often happiest when helping others or doing what they can to help make the world a better place for everyone to live in. Their concern for the world around them is on par with those who wear heart-based colours such as Wholehearted Pink and Generosity Green. For the most part, their compassion arises from a strong empathetic ability; they can easily imagine how it might feel to walk in the shoes of another person. Continue reading

The aura – a inner light shining through or a cloak of colours?

Is your aura made from the light that shines out from within you, or is it more like a cloak of many colours? The answer is: both! The aura is made up of many colours and layers of colours from different parts of who you are, the experiences you are having, and the energies you are interacting with.

 

Every Aura is Different

 

Aura colours, like people, come in many shapes and sizes.

 

Your aura is never just one colour: you are far more complex and multi-faceted than that. Nor is your aura static, like a still photograph of a single moment in time, because you are always changing and growing, always affecting and being affected by, the world around you.

 

There are as many different kinds of auras as there are people, and no two auras are exactly the same.

Continue reading

The kurrajong and the orchid

The reason I haven’t been blogging much over the past few years is because I’ve been hard at work writing a biography about my grandparents and my great uncle Peter Fannin, as well as working on a revision of my grandmothers wildflowers book. All of which takes up most of the writing energy I have!

The lovely thing is, I finally have some time off work to focus on these tasks. My husband, myself and our dog friend Rocky, are currently at a rural property in Nymboida, Northern NSW, living in a tiny home that is half the size of our old bedroom. We’re off grid and I’m in my element, with nature all around me.

Every morning, I either go for a long walk with Rocky, do some work on clearing a fire-break around the tiny house, or go into battle with the monstrous lantana groves. Afterwards, I come back red in the face and warm all over, with my heart thumping loud and hard in my chest. Each activity is giving me all forms of the exercise I know I need to stay healthy: strengthening my muscles, expanding my flexibility, and improving my cardiovascular health. Then I sit down and write for the rest of the day, with breaks here and there for cooking, conversations and gardening. We are usually in bed by 8pm and up again at the crack of dawn.

Not long after we arrived, I found what immediately became my favourite tree on the block, not far from the house, just inside the area that had been designated as “must be cleared” territory by the fire-fighting neighbour. The tree drew me in and enchanted me, even from a distance, and when I got closer I could see it was in full bloom! It seemed so familiar to me, as though I should know what it was… like a friend’s name you’ve forgotten.

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The mysterious identity nagged at me for weeks until one day we were in the carpark at Bunnings and I looked up to find a kurrajong in flower beside me. I’d never met this particular kind of kurrajong before, but I just knew it was a kurrajong- no mistaking that flower and leaf shape. Something went click and I started to wonder if my new friend on the block was a kurrajong. I’ve since discovered it’s a brachychiton populneus, a kurrajong native to the east coast of Australia.

I’ve been so busy with writing and lantana-pulling that I haven’t had a chance to visit my new friend in the past week, so I started going in spirit at night. The first time I went, I was amazed by the quantity and diversity of nature spirits around this tree. Even more so, the potency of them. We had a conversation about a near-miss the tree had had, when Stephen and I cut down a messy tangle of dead trees leaning against a live tree, that the previous owner had created during his own unfinished clearing work. The dead trees were precariously balanced and had to come down for safety’s sake but the only way we could safely bring them down was to cut down the tree that was holding them up. Besides which, the supporting tree was in the “you must clear a fire-break around your house” zone.

“Can we please not cut down my favourite tree?” I asked my husband. He agreed. Unfortunately, it was only a few metres away from the messy tangle that did have to come down. We did everything we could to try to get the poor condemned tree and its dangerous load to fall away from the kurrajong. After some strategic chainsaw cutting and ratchet-strap rigging, we went back to the house and waited. Nothing happened for about 15 minutes and then we heard the first cracks and watched from the distance. At first, the messy tangle headed straight for the kurrajong and then everything seemed to pause, as though in slow motion, and gracefully sweep off to one side. The kurrajong lost a few branches, but it survived!

In my night-time spirit-conversation with the kurrajong, it showed me a movie-replay of the event. I could see a cushion of air appear above the kurrajong as the trees came towards it, deflecting everything away from it, as though the kurrajong had protected itself. The attitude behind the image shown felt a little like someone dusting their hands off and putting their hands on their hips in a sassy way, as though to say “I can take care of myself thank you!” Ha!

After this image was shown, I was invited to sit under the tree, and the flowers gave me some healing. It almost felt like a Harry Potter sorting-hat was coming down over my head, but instead of sorting me into some kind of group, it was helping me sort my thoughts. Then I could feel energy lines from my head slowly being cleared all the way down to my feet. Kurrajong species’ definitely have a grounding action! As this happened, I spoke to the tree, and it explained that it was helping me focus my thoughts, rather than wasting time on ideas or lines of thought that weren’t practical.

I’ve been back to visit the tree at night a few times now. Last night I asked the kurrajong flower-spirit for healing, because I was in pain from an old injury that had flared up. The healing began and not long into it, the imagery shimmered and I could feel the kurrajong step back. In it’s place appeared an entirely different flower. In my mind, I kind of zoomed in, the way you would with a camera lens, to get a closer look. At first I was puzzled, then I realised it was an orchid. But I hadn’t seen any orchids of that colour on the block, and I knew from the mood of the shift from one flower to another that this orchid must be somewhere on the block, not far from the kurrajong.

Both the kurrajong and the orchid insisted I had already met the orchid. Confused, I ran though my memory of the many walks and then suddenly remembered seeing a single stem, like a grass stem, with tiny little pods on it that might have been closed flowers. They had the same colour as this orchid. “Is this you?” I asked, showing the orchid my memory. “Yes! I’m in flower now. Come and visit me tomorrow.” DSCN0838

So this morning I dutifully headed off in search for the flower, half-chuckling at myself for believing my night-time imaginings, and wondering how I was going to find such a tiny flower on 100 acres of land. I said hello to the kurrajong on the way past, stopped to photograph a bird, and spent a good 10 minutes searching for the orchid. I knew I’d seen it down near the creek bank somewhere, but where? I was just about to give up when I decided to try one more area. There was a lot of dead wood and bark on the ground and my first few steps almost up-ended me, because there were large holes hidden beneath them. Feeling a bit worried, I started to back away when I looked up and there it was! The orchid, in magnificent bloom!DSCN0878

How beautiful! Anyway, had to share this magic moment with you. On the way back, we visited the strawberry gum we planted a month ago. It’s doing really well and is one of the many bush-tucker plants I want to grow here in the lantana-reclaimed areas. It’s said to bring the flavours out in a dish. We’ve also planted a native mint and a finger lime, and I’d love to plant some macadamias!DSCN0881

Blessed Be

Om

 

Make-a-wish Mindfulness Meditation

With reality creating, it pays to spend time reflecting mindfully on what it is you are intending to create. This meditation helps you do exactly that, incorporating creative visualisation, story-telling and mindfulness mantras that help you make/feel/see the connection between words, feelings and body sensations.

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Feeling is as important (possibly more important) than visualisation and affirmations. Or to phrase this a little differently: visualisation and affirmation without adding feeling (emotion and body-based sensation) is like sitting in a car, forgetting to turn the key and wondering why the car won’t go. The affirmations and visualisations are there to evoke a feeling-state. If like attracts like, emanating a feeling/mood that is in alignment with your intention is a good way to attract that intention to you.

Letting go, or non-attachment to outcomes, is a surprisingly important cornerstone of good reality creating. Desire is a fire that drives you to pursue your dreams (rather than sitting on the couch doing nothing), but once the engine has started, we need to balance desire with surrender and faith. Think of desire as something that reveals your underlying values to you, and focus on these values rather than becoming obsessed with pursuing or possessing whatever your desire has fixated upon.

It’s a good idea to keep asking “Why?” you want a specific dream to be realised. And when you get the answer, ask “Why?” again and again to uncover what is really driving you and why. Are these really your dreams? Or is this just what your parents role-modelled for you? Is this really the path to happiness? Or just what you’ve been told will make you happy (or desirable, respected etc) by society and clever social marketing?

Quite often, when I go through this process with my clients, they discover their desires have been conditioned by society or childhood. What they are really looking for is a feeling and they believe that having this car, or that much money, or this success or prestige, or that lifestyle or the perfect man/woman etc…. will somehow give them access to that feeling.

They also tend to believe that if they can’t get the man, car, job, pay-rise etc they won’t be able to have that feeling (of being worthy, happy, respected, valued, vindicated, content, safe etc). This then sets up a very loaded emotional charge around their desire that actually works against them accomplishing their goals. Too much grasping, obsessive, fear-based emotion doesn’t work well when it comes to reality creating. There needs to be some desire, yes, but not fear-based desire, or a hunger that blinds you to the bigger picture of your life and your deeper values.

The best quality intentions that have the best chance of success, are those that are in alignment with your deeper values, your core essence. True happiness comes from intangible things (feelings)… rather than having more things, or more recognition and success. The beauty of using mindfulness meditation in reality creating is that you can actually practise the feeling you are seeking, so that it becomes a new skill, rather than being dependant on external things to deliver that feeling. And the amazing thing is, once you have that feeling, your hunger to pursue it via external means disappears and you relax.

This combination of owning the feeling and relaxing is exactly what then opens your aura up to receiving the very things that will help deliver more of that delicious feeling. You won’t need the new car to feel successful and sexy because you’ve already cultivated this as a mindset, mood or auric feeling-state. The external trappings that you might attract/create from this state then become true reflections of your inner state, rather than compensations for an inner lack… or you might just decide that you don’t need all that stuff to validate or medicate you after all.

Having faith that your higher self is steering your life in directions that are nourishing for you is an approach I love to take. Because then if something my ego-self intended doesn’t happen I can just shrug my shoulders and let go, because I know my higher self has it covered. Either my intention wasn’t right for my higher good, or the timing isn’t right. By gracefully surrendering to my higher will, rather than obsessively trying to push or pull the river of life and shape it according to my oft-deluded ego-will, I can open to the will of Heaven and discover what Spirit wants to bless me with.

Lastly, I’m a great believer in practical action. I have spent too many years as a practitioner groaning inwardly as yet another client says one thing and does another. Are your actions in alignment with your intention? Or are you spending money on lottery tickets rather than investing that money wisely to help you take another small, but very concrete step closer to your dreams? People so often want things now, big things, instantly, without having to do any work to accomplish those dreams. I don’t have any respect for that. If you want something, take practical action to make it happen, don’t just sit on the couch dreaming about it. But first, be very sure that this is what you really want. That shiny new car might make your ego happy (temporarily) but at what cost? A new car in exchange for your freedom, with hefty loan repayments locking you in to working longer hours, having less holidays, and absolutely guaranteeing more stress when unexpected financial pressures come along. Does it really matter that much, the shiny new car? Why do you really want it? What do you imagine it will do for you? Is this desire in alignment with your deeper dreams and your core values?

Blessed Be

 

 

 

The closing down sale

SATURDAY 2ND SEPTEMBER 2017

9am- 12pm  AND  2pm- 5pm

CHAKRA REMEDIES

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Many years ago, I created a Chakra Meditation book, filled with chakra meditations and contemplation questions. There were 20 in all, with two meditations and contemplations for each colour. While I use the traditional 7-chakra rainbow system, I recognise extra colours for the base, heart and crown chakras. Here in this picture, for example, is one of the contemplation pages for BROWN, which I consider a second frequency associated with the base chakra, alongside the more traditional red colour used to represent this centre.

Some years after that, I began experimenting with drop-dose liquid herbal medicine, where small doses are used to tap into the energetic properties of plants. At first, I made a few mistakes and it took a bit of experimenting to get the dose right. If you go too low you can trigger symptoms that herb would normally treat. Nettles for example, might helps us release old resentments and stored anger from the solar plexus, but if the dose is too small, it might trigger a physical healing crisis with a hot red rash appearing on the solar plexus area.

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The Base Chakra Aura Spray, along with the ‘Stand your Ground’ and ‘Ground Yourself’ Chakra Tonics for the base chakra

Once I got the dose right,  I began to see and feel the frequency of each herb with greater accuracy. For many years I used the herbs during chakra/aura healing work, by rubbing them over my hands and allowing the spirit of the plants to guide me. All of this research has now culminated in the creation of 20 Chakra Tonics that align with the chakra meditations and contemplation exercises in the book I’d written years earlier. I hadn’t realised until recently that these two projects were going to merge as one!

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The Chakra Meditation book

For a few months now, I’ve been playing happily with the Chakra Tonics and am delighted with how effective they are. It might take me a bit longer to pull everything together as a full package, but you’re welcome to come have a dabble on the closing down day. Shuffle the Chakra Meditation card deck to find out which Chakra Tonic is right for you, or tell me a little about physical, emotional and psychological challenges you are facing and I can help you choose the right blend, or the right combination of Herbal Chakra Tonic with Aura Spray.


HERBAL STOCK TO CLEAR

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Herbal singles for the Base Chakra (brown): Earthy, restorative, strengthening remedies that help you ‘Stand your Ground’.

I’m about to begin travelling back and forth between Northern NSW and Darwin, which is another reason I’ve wanted to condense or down-size my product range. Being a chakra/aura therapist, I couldn’t resist grouping the ‘herbs for sale’ according to chakras. Each chakra section on the sale day will include liquid herbal ‘singles’ and ‘blends’. Singles are one herb on it’s own, blends are a combination of herbs working together.

In the Brown Base Chakra ‘single herb section for example, I have horsetail, which is rich in minerals, especially silica… a beautiful, earthy herb that builds strength on a musculoskeletal level. Astragalus builds deep strength into the immune system while also improving tone and resilience, being an incredible preventative for colds and flus and a brilliant remedy for prolapse of any kind. IMG_2596

In the blended section for this chakra/colour I have some energy restorative blends, full of herbs that restore depleted adrenal function and help rebuild us when we’ve become run down or are recovering from illness. There’s also a blend of herbs for restoring and strengthening the immune system.

In some chakra sections, there are herbal tablets for sale, and some dried herbs.

michelle bIf you need a herbalist/naturopath while I’m away, let me introduce you to the lovely Michelle Brown Some of you may remember meeting her when she was apprenticed to me years ago, while completing clinic time for her degree. Michelle is very intuitive and insightful, and shares my passion for holism, both in her whole-person approach to naturopathy and her grasp on the importance of whole-plant synergy and food as medicine.


WISH-PILLOWS

Over the past few weeks I’ve been testing out my new Wish-Pillows, which are soooo much fun! My inner child really loves them. I keep mine beside the bed and some night I snuggle up with it. I love breathing deep the scent of Schisandra, Shatavari and Rose Petals, while I make my wishes.

IMG_2496Schisandra has a ‘Synchronicity Pink’ frequency to it… for anyone who doesn’t have an Aura Card set, this means it’s a magical herb that helps us to have more faith in (and attunement with) divine timing. And in all the ancient textbooks, Shatavari (wild asparagus), comes with a warning: “Do not use if you don’t want flying dreams’. I mean, really, who wouldn’t want to have flying dreams? Perhaps if you were scared of heights….

…but really, whether or not you have flying dreams isn’t really the point here. The flying dreams are a metaphor for freedom; for rising above what you might otherwise by mired within. Like an eagle looking down from a great height, Shatavari gives us the capacity to let go, step back and see the bigger picture. It’s this letting go, this detachment, that is such an important and often overlooked aspect of reality creating. Intending without releasing is like deciding what you want at a restaurant but forgetting to tell the waiter!Screen Shot 2016-08-09 at 5.19.27 PM

Another oft overlooked aspect of reality-creating, or making good wishes, is the ability to come from the heart. Rose-Petals centre us within the heart chakra and help us tap into the high-frequency positive emotions that help empower intent, like gratitude, forgiveness and unconditional love.

I’m madly packing for the big move at the moment, but hopefully once that’s done I’ll have time to write up the Spell-Scrolls that go with the Wish-Pillows. And me being me, I’ll naturally make sure there is a practical side to all of this, with a quality guided meditation that helps you focus not only on the more esoteric side of making wishes, but the grounded actions you can take to make your dreams a reality.

HOMEOPATHIC EMOTIONAL 1st AID KITS

IMG_2600This small kit of five remedies can be used for emotional emergencies. Gelsenium, for example, is brilliant for performance anxiety, where we freeze up while on stage, speaking publically, or being interviewed for a new job. It’s particularly good for anticipatory anxiety, where we are trembling and having trouble with our breathing because we’re getting ourselves worked up about something we are dreading.

Nat Mur helps us with grieving, where the grieving state has become stuck and unable to resolve itself. Nux Vom is the premier bear-with-sore-head remedy, perfect for terrible hangovers and the grumpiness that comes from burned-out, stressed workaholism. Silicea is for weak boundaries and empathic/emotional over-sensitivity, while Chamomilla is the famous teething remedy, great to use when we are acting like an impossible-to-please child who’s having a tantrum or whinging because we can’t get our own way or we’re in pain. I’ll soon be adding a wee scroll to the kits describing how and when to use each remedy.


BOOKS AND CARDS

IMG_2597The big aura book and most recent Aura Card deck are temporarily unavailable, pending a wee make-over sometime next year. In the meantime, I have a few guidebooks left and have rummaged up some old decks, for various prices depending on whether or not I’ve had to replace missing cards with hand-drawn ones. IMG_2599

There are a few Transformation books left, and plenty of the Flower Spirit card and book set. For more insight into the later, check out my flower spirit site. The flower site features the book and blogs about my wildflower spirit journeys, and the two people who fostered my deep love for wildflowers and wildflower photography, my grandmother Anne and grand uncle Peter, who have both passed away now.


GIVE-AWAY

IMG_2602I also have some books to give away on the day of the closing down sale, a mix of old and new, that need good homes. Topics range from the natural environment through to Aboriginal art, with the odd fiction book and magazine thrown in. There’s a laminator, a deck of cards, and so on.

Hope you can make it on the day!

Blessings!

Om

Endings and new beginnings

For many years now, my husband and I have been dreaming about ‘what next?’ The conversation started in 2013, after our youngest left home for university, and for a while, the ideas came thick and fast, one crazy idea being replaced with the next. Move to Edinburgh or Prague? Sell up, get a motorhome, and explore Australia? Move to the east coast, or back to Alice? At first, I found the idea of uprooting myself unsettling. Professionally, it would mean starting all over again, or doing something completely different, and I wasn’t quite ready to shed my skin and step out of my comfort zone.

Nor, it seems, was my husband. He became engrossed in a local project, so we stayed put and the dreams took a momentary back seat. When the project came to an end, the ‘what next?’ obsession kicked back in with a vengeance. This time, my husband really was ready. Me? Not so much! And yet, I knew from all the signs and whisperings from Spirit that I was being asked to let go of who I was… to have the courage to lose sight of the shore so that I might discover new horizons. Somehow I made it through last year in one piece, but there were many times I broke down in tears because I was afraid and my husbands enthusiasm was pushing me to my limits. I felt like I was trying to stop him from leaping empty handed into any void he could find whilst simultaneously coaxing myself closer to the edge.

The year started innocently enough, with me finally tackling the unfinished paint-job in the upstairs bathroom. Before I knew it, my husband had arranged for the entire house to be painted professionally… and within a month, the new coat of paint somehow evolved into a complete renovation: kitchen, floors, built-in wardrobes and more. Blink, and I have a new house! My husband certainly doesn’t drag his feet, but I dug mine in fiercely when he started talking about selling up and buying property in places he’d never been to. Tasmania, Tasmania, Tasmania… was the echoing mantra being whispered in my ear. He wanted to be cold. Understandable, when you live in Northern Australia!

We compromised. He promised not to suddenly buy a property he’d never seen in a place he’d never been to and I happily agreed to moving, as long as we could go travelling and get a feel for the places he’d fallen in love with while surfing for properties on-line. Tasmania, it turns out, wasn’t it. Neither was East Gippsland, but we had to go there to work this out. You can read more about this epic 5 week adventure in a series of blogs I wrote on my wildflower site. (Wildflower site? For me, travel = finding wildflowers)

My first blog “From mountain devils to coastal pigfaces” tells the story of the trek between Sydney and Merimbula. From here we crossed the border into Victoria. “From Pelicans to Paper Daisies and Love on the Grass Courts” takes us from Gypsy Point and Mallacoota, through the alpine mountains covered in summer wildflowers all the way through to Melbourne, in time for a big family party. The third blog, “Finding Lothlorien”, recounts the story of rediscovering my early childhood home in Tasmania.

For me, this 5 week journey wasn’t just my favourite adventure so far (it hands down beat all the overseas travel), it made the idea of moving real. Finally I was able to picture myself in a new place, living a new life. Tantalising hints of a new identity and new possibilities coaxed me out of just humouring my husband and holding space for him, into full-blown enthusiasm and hunger for change. Finally we were on the same page, but we both knew that we hadn’t found our new home yet and some financial realities were kicking in; this meant dreaming smaller and thinking outside the square.

Come March, we were off exploring again. My husband had finally relaxed the reins on his relentless mission to ‘get cold’ and we set off on a journey to check out northern NSW. There was one tiny little place Stephen had discovered on the map that just kept calling him back, time and time again, and it was time to meet this beautiful place in person. Enter Nymboida, stage left, dressed in misty cloud and soaked in heavy rain. Gorgeous!

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The first property we visited, we left the car on the side of a dirt road and waded thigh-deep through two fast-flowing river crossings in drizzling rain, not game to risk taking the car through, especially given we didn’t know how much higher the rivers were going to rise. Are we going the right way, we wondered? Was the property even within walking distance? The craziness of it all was the best part of the fun. There was no phone reception so we traipsed on, hoping we were taking the correct turns at intersections and then suddenly… there it was!

A charming octagonal wooden house, with the owner smiling as we puffed our way up her steep hill. “You passed the first test!” she called. We had no idea what she meant until she explained that she gets city-goers visiting who think “What a sweet house!” but they have no concept at all about the reality of living remote, getting cut off when the roads flood, the very small power system, the outdoors compost toilet and so on. We were soaked to the bone but the weather hadn’t put us off, which was a good sign in her books. This lovely lady was a feng shui consultant and a healer, in a very down-to-earth kind of way. My kind of person.

We had a warm cup of tea, and then our host gave Stephen a healing because he’d slipped off the edge of one of the river crossings and bruised his thigh. “One of the best healings I’ve ever had,” he declared the next day, surprised at how quickly his body was recovering. We loved this octagonal house because it reminded us of the house my father had wanted to build at Lothlorian, but we were ideally hoping to find larger acreage with more bushland on it.

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The next day we went to inspect the second property on our list, bhe real estate agent got us lost. He had no idea, really, where he was going. We were disappointed and dropped him back to his car at the intersection and went exploring in the mountains. On the way back, a car seemed to be following us. Then it began flashing its lights at us. We pulled over and discovered it was the real estate agent, excitedly explaining that he’d worked out where our property was. We went back to the intersection and he climbed into our 4WD and showed us the way.

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We thought all our Christmases were coming at once until we got bogged in the very long driveway that led to the block. “Go forwards and try to get up on the bank” said the real estate agent, so we did and became even more deeply wedged in the oozing mud that was hidden beneath a deceptively firm road surface. So began the mammoth task of digging ourselves out. Our first round of rescuers got themselves bogged and unbogged three times before getting anywhere even close to our car. All hail the cable winch, and the friendly locals who helped us!

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Being claimed by the bog monster meant staying put much longer than we’d planned, and it was a few days before we managed to get down to the block itself and see it in person. In the meantime, we went to visit a third property. The land itself was stunning, with cliff-face, running streams and adjacent nature reserves. I was in love, but at the same time felt slightly intimidated by the majestic scope of it, and not confident we could convince a bank to finance it.

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I pushed that puzzle to the back of my mind and took an impromptu train-ride to Brisbane to do some magic with my sister and daughter, who had pointed out that the three of us were 44, 33 and 22 years old in age, so it might be a good time to do some ancestral family healing (on the 22nd of the 3rd, no less!). By the time I came back, all filled up with sista-love, Stephen had seen the bog-property and encouraged me to take a walk and check it out. He did his best not to seem too excited, because he didn’t want to influence me, but I got the feeling he liked it.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAThe walk took me up and down through small valleys over little bridges and finally led to a raised area that was cleared, with a tiny little modern hut on it, built top-end style. I felt isolated and nestled in, with trees all around me. There were no people-sounds, just birds singing and the wind blowing through the trees. The block had been cleared some 40 years earlier and this fit nicely with my dream of protecting native land and/or rehabilitating damaged land. More than anything, there was a feeling of being home; some special, indescribable something that went ‘click’. When I came back and told Stephen what I’d felt, he told me he’d felt it too.

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Fast forward to now, and we are packing up the home we have lived in for the past 19 years and I am loving every moment that takes me a step closer to a new life. August 2017 will be my last month of work in our Palmerston home, with a closing down sale on the 2nd of September. Then we will be driving off into the sunset, for some retreat time at our new Nymboida home, which we are affectionately dubbing ‘Lothlorien Valley’. While we are there, I’m hoping to finish the biography I’ve been writing about my great uncle Peter, famous for his plant walks at the Rock and his role in the Western Desert Art Movement in the early 70’s. Sadly, Peter passed away recently.

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We’ll be back in the new year, ready for business as usual at a new premises in Darwin (location yet to be announced). I might be able to do some Skype work before I get back, but I can’t make any promises! And come sept-oct next year, we’ll most likely drive off into the sunset and do it all over again… retreat no 2, another biography, another happy Om returning to work in Darwin in the new year with batteries recharged.

Blessings and Love

Om